Joke Competition - Angel and Demon Jokes

Wayne J. Harris

Joke Competition - Angel and Demon Jokes

This competition is now closed. The winners were Steve and Iona.

My Angel Jokes

Can you write a worse joke than me? It's harder than you think. Here are my angel jokes:

A man is sitting in a bar crying. 'What's wrong?' asks the barman. 'I've been thrown out of Demon School,' comes the sad reply. 'I wasn't evil enough.' 'What did they ask you to do?' asked the curious barman? 'Well,' came the answer, 'I was okay with being a traffic warden and was really enjoying bringing misery to so many people. Then they upgraded me to Estate Agent and the misery I created became much more intense, but then they gave me the biggest test and I just couldn't be that evil. I couldn't do it to those poor children.' 'What did they want you to be?' asked the terrified barman, the hairs rising on the back of his neck. 'A maths teacher,' sobbed the former student.
Did you hear about the Banker who was really an angel? No? Neither did I?
What do you call a Banker with wings, a halo, a bright aura and sings Hosannas all the time? A well disguised Banker.
How does an angel look behind? With their wing mirrors. (groan to be inserted by reader).
What did Noah say to the angel? Are you an Ark Angel? (supplied by my wife Jackie).
How do you get an angel's aura to be a bit softer? Feed them Angel De-light. (The worst so far - especially as it only makes sense in the UK and I have to explain it (click here to see what Angel Delight is) but be very afraid I can go lower!)

A bit of fun

I was on a Euroscript course and the tutor challenged us to take a risk. I've always thought that poetry was the hardest thing in the world to write, but I took a risk and wrote the following. I hope you enjoy it, but I don't think the Poet Laureate should be scared of me yet.

Nothing will happen if you delete this

Nothing will happen if you delete this

You won’t get bad luck

You’ll have the same money

You’ll have the same friends

Except it won’t fill your disk

Nothing will happen if you save this

You won’t read it again

Your disk will barely notice it

You’ll have the same friends

Except there’s no point

Nothing will happen if you forward this

You won’t get good luck

It won’t cost you anything

You’ll have the same friends

Except if you forward their addresses

Nothing will happen if you answer this

You won’t meet a Prince

You won’t lose money

You’ll still have the same friends

Except you might share more than a joke

(c) Wayne J Harris (www.WayneJHarris.com)

You are welcome to forward this email to anyone you like provided you keep to the following conditions:

1. You will forward all of the poem, my name and these conditions as they appear here.

2. You remove the email addresses of previous recipients for the sake of their privacy L.

3. You don’t insert it into a soppy Powerpoint slide show with kittens and blue skies or even beer or anything. J

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